Yelling at your kids.

If you haven't raised your voice to your children it can only be because you don't have any.  I can promise you though that when you get some you'll be hollerin'.   Sometimes, not often, but  sometimes Im given the gift of objectivity and I hear myself as I actually sound and not with my aggravated-end-0f-the-day ears and I think, "what the hell has happened to me that these words are coming out of my mouth at this volume?"   Cause you're never yelling at your kids  over a dispute about the allegory  of Socrates' Cave or whether marginal tax rates ought to be 3% higher.  No, its because they put the fork in the wrong place for the 59th time.

My son is a good natured and pure hearted pleaser.  He'd really rather not earn your  disdain on any level so when he is yelled at he gets upset and often cries which is shaming and awful for all the right reasons.

My daughter is also very sweet but she's willing to lock horns for what's right.  When I raise my voice to her she doesn't ignore me or anything like that.  Nope, she looks me right in the eye with a gaze that says "Im in the presence of a crazy person now" and  patronizes me accordingly. 

She's five.

And when you lose your shit like that its really hard to dial it back so you're just sort of  hung out there being mocked silently by a dear innocent little girl.   This is what makes us old and ultimately why we die.