Sunday, December 21, 2008

Im totally in a fight with this old woman....

She lives on my street.  She's about 76 years old, suffers from Macular Degeneration, and is kicking my monkey ass.

How could this happen?

Well this person, lets call her Old Woman, is the kind of old person whose only remaining purpose is to let you know how wrong everything you do is.  The way you raise your kids, mow your lawn, paint your garage....all of it.  Wrong.  And not just mistaken or ill considered, but a moral fucking outrage.  Wrong wrong wrong.....

She compliments this charming personality trait with some real hard-as-nails old school racism.

Yeah..... wetbacks, spicks, niggers, chinks, jews..... all of it.  Lovely.  In Old Woman's world they're all either trying to buy a house  on this street or marry a white woman. And if you don't see it that way well that's just because you're soft and spoiled not having come up the hard way like Old Woman did.  

Mostly the neighbors just regard her the way you would your retarded cousin and nod and smile and maybe find a reason to go inside if you see her coming your way.  But finally this fall I couldn't nod and smile anymore and I just threw down on her.   "Old woman", I said, "I can't believe the hateful things that come out of your mouth".  It went downhill from there.

Well she went home.  She went home, cried, and proceeded to tell everyone on the street that I'd made her cry by being meaner to her than anyone has ever been.   She's probably right, but sometimes you just gotta stand up to these old people.   The upshot is that now all my neighbors either think Im an idiot or an asshole. 

Well played Old Woman......well played.


  1. Heinlein had it right...
    "Age is not an accomplishment, and youth is not a sin."

  2. Then what would Heinlein say about smackin' an old lady?

  3. "How can I possibly put a new idea into your heads, if I do not first remove your delusions?"


    "A society that gets rid of all its troublemakers goes downhill."

    And my personal favorite:

    "Those who cling to the untrue doctrine that violence never settles anything would be advised to conjure up the ghosts of Napoleon Bonaparte and of the Duke of Wellington and let them debate it. The ghost of Hitler could referee, and the jury might well be the Dodo, the Great Auk, and the Passenger Pigeon. Violence, naked force, has settled more issues in history than has any other factor, and the contrary opinion is wishful thinking at its worst. Nations and peoples who forget this basic truth have always paid for it with their lives and freedoms. "

  4. Im lookin' for something less opaque.... Something like; "If you smack on old woman then....." Got anything like that?

  5. Give her hot, slow love. That usually cools 'em down.